For New Years I was invited to go to the Al!ve Conference in DC. I was never sure of going because of the cost of the trip, but in the last minute I decided to make the time to go. I needed to do something for myself for once and just see what God had in store for me. The Alive conference was held through Campus Outreach that is located on many campus' nationwide. UNC-Charlotte has this organization on their campus and they became an umbrella to the schools that did not have the luck of having CO on their campus.
I couldn't think UNCC_CO enough for being that umbrella and allowing me to go. God had surly showed his presence at this event. I'm gonna have to say that one of the most powerful moments was all these college students getting on their hands and knees in front of the Capitol Building and praying for our Country. What an amazing opportunity. Just imagine yourself as a bystander and the thoughts that would run through your head. Power!
I won't sit here and mention everything talked about at the conference. I will put a link if you feel and find the time you can use to go and listen to the messages by Mike Ross, Joshua Harris, and Matt Ballard. Each of these men living for God had something that spoke more to me than I ever could imagine! I wish I could explain to you the feeling I have of the fact that God is working in my life. It's a feeling I've never felt before, yet it's so exciting!
Two main things that have placed something on my heart 1) I'm fully committing my life to God & 2) I learned that being single isn't so bad after all.
1) I don't know exactly what it was that started this all. But I just felt the need to take a year to myself and myself only to work on my walk with the Lord. I prayed to God to lead me to what it is he wants me to do. He's got something in store for me to do... I don't know what yet... But I'm looking forward to finding out. It may perhaps be the opportunity I could get this summer. CO has a project called Summer Beach Project. It's an 8 week project for college students to learn and become more confident on their faith by sharing it. It's a huge commitment in taken my entire summer doing this and not being able to come home for 8 weeks, but if God leads me to it... I'm going to obey him and do it. It can only make me a stronger person and give me stronger walk with my Lord & Savior. I'm praying hard about it and making sure of it before making a final decision. I want to make sure there is not another opportunity for me that I'm missing.
2) Since I made the decision on ending my engagement and feeling like it was the best thing for me... I've struggled with the fact on being single again. After being with someone for 5 years, it's hard being alone... it's scary to be honest. But I'm ready for it. God will take care of me... and this is a great opportunity to work on my faith. I think as a woman I will grow and become more confident in life. I think this right there... is the WHOLE reason on why I felt like God had something else planned for me. He knew that I wasn't stable with Him and in order to become that way he needed to tell me to take away the one thing that meant the most to me. I know as who I am that trying to correct and work on my Faith in Him while being with someone would never grow anymore.. I tried and just then became "too busy" for Him. But I have had nothing but peace and confidence about the whole situation. And let me tell you... feeling that way and knowing that it's God helping you is one amazing feeling... one I cannot explain!
I don't need someone in my life to make me feel whole... that's what God is for. He can fill that emptiness in my life and show me that he is truly the path to true happiness. You can't be happy with a partner on Earth until your truly on the right track with God. I'm a strong believer in that. God should become first in a relationship and one should be built off that. Realizing all this is yet another feeling I can't explain. It's just amazing knowing for a FACT that God is doing something amazing in your life.
I don't know what the future holds... but I know God made someone for me... and in time I'll find who God has made for me. Either it be the one I was with before or someone else... I'll be happy either way knowing that God made this person specifically for me. He knows me best and he knows above anyone how to chose the best man for me! I've just gotta stay patient.
My New Years Resolution this year is bigger than ever!! I mean BIGGER THAN EVER!!! During prayer time on New Years Eve I decided that my life was going to change... dramatically. My life for here on out will be ALL about the Lord... and no one else... not even myself. I am putting 2011 to the test... I'm going to grow closer to God and work on my knowledge for him! At the end of this year... I'll still lack in some areas.. but at least I'll know that I'm on the right track!
The girls that I met on the trip have been a God blessing to me! They had every word to say that God knew I needed to hear and I couldn't be more thankful for them. It's almost like I've known the new ones for years and it's amazing how they just took me under their wings! (They know who they are!!!)
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